Living in 3-d: Disciplined, Determined and Demanding
DR. MIRIAM ADAHAN ( 2004–06–24)
I have three different aerobics instructors who are all disciplined, determined and demanding, a fact which I find very inspiring. Beauty and brains are gifts from G-d, so we are merely praising the Creator when we comment on either trait.
But the three D’s are qualities we acquire through hard work, day in and day out, as we
struggle to face the terror, corruption and injustice of the world with emunah and
bitachon. Whenever I feel discouraged or outraged, I command myself to go into
what I call my 3-D mode, which is what I must do whenever I hear the news,
especially now, when Israeli officials speak so casually about how their beautiful
homes, their holy yeshivos and synagogues and the productive hot houses in Gush
Katif will soon be given over to Arab murderers after the expulsion of Jews from the
area. How else can we keep sane in the face of such insanity and betrayal?
Painful realities intrude everywhere. A new member of my aerobics class is a
beautiful young girl who seemed around 18. Covered with scars, including a long
gash on her face and similar ones all over her arms and back, I assumed that she was a
terror victim. Noticing that she often spoke after class to Frimit, the mother of Malki
Roth, H.yd. who was murdered 3 years ago in Sbarro, I called Frimit to get her name
and find out if she is in need of financial assistance. It turned out that her name is
Limor and that Limor’s sister, Shulamit, and Malki had been best friends. Limor was
ambushed by Arabs along with her husband, Shuli Har Melech, H.yd. almost a year
ago. Shuli was killed instantly and Limor, 7 months pregnant with her second child,
was in critical condition as was her baby, Sarah, who had miraculously survived.
Watching this delicately faced widow exercise with such fierce determination and
quiet strength always reminds me that we are all scarred by life in various ways, some
more than others, and that our ability to live in 3-D mode is an inspiration to others.
Terror comes in many forms, and one of the guises it wears is the face of
poverty. I thought of my 3 Ds when Mrs. Cohen came to my door today to collect
the funds which JEWISH PRESS readers have so generously contributed to her. She
sat at my table drinking the cold water I’d given to refresh her spirits on a hot day and
then pulled up the sleeves of her blouse to reveal long rows of scars on both arms,
silent witnesses to years of dialysis and then a successful kidney transplant. “I used to
be the one who gave to everyone,” she said sadly. “Now I’m the one who has to beg
because I’m too sick to work.” “Well,” I replied, “I’m going to give you the chance
to give again.” I’d just read about a newspaper article about a woman named Penina,
a mother of ten, whose husband had lost his job and had disappeared in the hope that
this would force the welfare services to take care of his family. I had looked up her
number up in the phonebook that morning and saw that she lived near Geula. So I
wrote out another check and gave it to Geula, who promised to give it to Penina.
After she left, I called Penina and told her that a check would be coming soon. She
gasped and then she said, “Just this morning the city cut off my water and they are
threatening to cut off my electricity as well!” The amount I had given would just
about cover both bills.
After Geula left, a young single mother called to tell me that her protein for
the day consists of an egg and a small tub of yogurt. She makes an omelet, cuts it into
four pieces, and gives herself and each of her three children a small triangle. After
putting a check in the mail to her, Sarah, a former student, called from Kiryat Arba to
see if I could help a young single mother who developed a serious case of rheumatic
fever after not having enough money to buy antibiotics for a strep infection. She can
now barely take care of her children. Since it is important for me to know each family
I help and to see what their living conditions are, Sarah has become my conduit for
families in the Kiryat Arba and Hebron area.
The economic situation here is unbelievably difficult. Over 50,000 people a
month have their phone service, water or electricity cut off. I certainly cannot help
them all, but the few who do receive a donation are very grateful to you, dear readers,
including Chaya Sara, Ida, Inbal, Rivital, Yehuda and Yuval and many others. I often
make the check conditional on finding a job or helping others. Five hundred children
from the impoverished area of Gilo will be going to summer camp soon, thus enabling
many single mothers to keep working and also providing jobs to many unemployed
youth in the area. And a community center in Gush Etzion will hire people to work
for them, using FUND money, because nothing helps build self-esteem like the ability
to make money through one’s own efforts!
A life of ease and comfort does not develop strength of character, but poverty
can also diminish the spirit and kill the will to live. This world is not for wimps!
When we arise each morning, we can be like the ten spies who felt like grasshoppers
because they didn’t believe that they could handle the struggles in this world. Or, we
can see the world from the eyes of Calev and Yehoshua, who knew that Hashem
created a world in a way which would satisfy our need to be heroic. There is no
greater pleasure than the thrill of a victory which comes when we have pushed
ourselves beyond what we thought were our limits. Each phase of life demands
heroism; the more we develop our 3 Ds, the better we will feel about ourselves.
Every dollar you give to charity is a heroic act. This is why even the poor are
commanded to give tzdakah, for giving is what reveals our Godly essence. Thank you
for lifting the spirits of the downtrodden and showing them that there are people out
there who care. Giving others a will to live is what will strengthen your own will to
live when times are difficult. All the love we give does come back – 10-fold!
[Because the ADAHAN FUND FOR THE POOR has no office expenses or
salaries, all donations go directly to those who need it the most. It is estimated that
some $350 million has been collected for terror victims over the last five years, but
very little of this money has filtered down to the actual victims. PLEASE, when you
make a donation, make sure that it goes to an organization which is truly non-profit!
Donations can be sent to 2700 W. Chase, Chicago, Il. 60645. G-d bless you!]