For 7 years, the “peace process” (or the peace psychosis) has lurched from one crisis to another as Israelis wavered between unrealistic hopes (“Maybe the Arabs will learn to be nice.”) and dismal fears (“This can’t possibly work!”) Each terrorist attack brought us back to the gloomy reality.
Children misbehave only because they do not know they are holy! Strict limits makes them feel secure. BASIC RULES: 1. SCOLD QUICKLY - no more than a minute. Attack the behavior, not the child. 2. FOCUS ON SOLUTIONS. Be specific, “That (state specifically what it is) is unacceptable.” 4. END WITH HUG: “I love you and trust you.
Next to my desk is an ever-growing stack of newspapers which I’ve been collecting ever since the cursed Oslo Death Process began. I want to share in the pain of the families, to know something of their lives and how they are dealing with the grief. The world gets dry statistics about the number who died. But numbers don’t stories, like the tragedy of two mothers in Haifa, Carmit Ron and Rachel Koren, who lost their husbands and their only two children in the March 31 blast while dining in a restaurant close to home. Anat and Ofir Ron were 21 and 17. Ran and Gal Koren were 18 and 15. Numbers don’t say what it is like to prepare a meal for one, to do laundry for one, to go past empty rooms once filled with the sounds of life and laughter and awaken each morning to deafening silence.
I’m a big believer in using distressing emotions for productive purposes. Like, if you feel guilty for not spending more time with your family, don’t just feel guilty, spend more time with them! And if you feel ashamed that you scream at them so often, don’t just feel ashamed, find out how to express yourself without insulting them or humbly accept that Hashem doesn’t want you to have what you want.
A recent survey showed that almost 85% of girls age 13-25 suffer from food addictions – anorexia, bulimia or obesity. When people are bored or stressed, food is often the most handy “mother substitute” and source of quick pleasure. Over-eating is not necessarily a sign of deep psychological problems. After all, most dogs are also overweight today! Every cell in our bodies contains thousands of opiate receptors, driving us to seek pleasure. If we don’t satisfy this need in a positive manner, we are likely to end up either medicated or addicted.
Yes, darling, life is often very painful. Endless wars. Family conflicts. Physical and emotional illnesses. From early in life, we are told, "We don't hurt the people we love."
For many years, scientists wondered why neglected children will sometimes bang their heads against their cribs or a wall. They concluded that the head-banging creates a kind of colorful light show in their brains which relieves their loneliness and boredom. To such children, the pain they arouse is preferable to the lack of stimualtion.
