ISRAEL AS A BATTERED WOMAN: PART II
Dr. Miriam Adahan
A SELF-BEHEADING COUNTRY: VICTORIES FIGHT DESPAIR
Dr. Miriam Adahan
I’m a big believer in using distressing emotions for productive purposes. Like, if you feel guilty for not spending more time with your family, don’t just feel guilty, spend more time with them! And if you feel ashamed that you scream at them so often, don’t just feel ashamed, find out how to express yourself without insulting them or humbly accept that Hashem doesn’t want you to have what you want. .
Dear L-rd, I wrote to you 15 years ago, at the beginning of the Peace Process. Even though You said not to negotiate with enemies, Shimon Peres and Yossi Beilin told me not to listen to You. They said that You were old-fashioned and out of tune with the modern world. They promised me that I would be written about in history books as the world's most celebrated peace politician. When they showed me the Oslo Accords that they had formulated, it seemed so logical and hopeful. I was full of optimism and youthful vigor. And I turned my back on You.
INSPIRATION:
We have a stringent duty to honor our parents. But are there limits? A well-known Gemara praises a Roman officer for maintaining his composure even after his mother tore his clothes and spit in his face in public (Kiddushin 31a). Many cite this story as proof that a child must passively submit to abuse by a parent. This view is mistaken and can lead to terrible tragedies. First, the Maharshal, wrote that the above situation refers if a parent suffers from dementia and is clearly not responsible for his actions. He states that if a child feels emotionally ill around a parent, he must set definite limits, such as moving far away. The Rambam states that parents "should not impose too heavy a burden upon their children or be too exacting regarding their duty to honor him, lest they cause the children to rebel" (Mishneh Torah).
ARE THERE LIMITS TO KIBUD HORIM?
Dr. Miriam Adahan